Some of you have written to me wanting to know what a particular song means. One good use of this newsletter is to tell you all what the songs mean (at least to me) as well as give some other comments about how they were written and anything else interesting. This issue will look at the popular songs "Godslayer" and "Nathicana".

Godslayer This was the last song I wrote to complete the "Unholy Rapture" project. It was also the most ambitious. I wanted to put so much into this song, "dueling" guitar solos, multiple voices, styles ranging from thrash to power to melodic and back again, and a powerful lightning, wind and rain intro with the chilling "Godslayer" cry in stereo. Trying to get it all into 4 tracks seamlessly was a challenge, and mixdown took practice to get it right. In the end it all turned out pretty much as I wanted, it's quite impressive.

The song depicts a battle between "God" and the "Godslayer". Although the language and scenery reflects the Christian version of God, the meaning is more universal. God appears all powerful, all knowing, immortal, and undefeatable and so the Godslayer knows a direct confrontation is unwinnable. God (the belief in god) is built on dreams, dreams of salvation, dreams of immortality, dreams of love, of power, of freedom, and all manner of desires. This being so, the Godslayer attacks God by destroying the dreams.

We all have hopes and dreams, but do we control them, or do they control us? Dreams can get out of control, validating themselves through circular logic and building themselves into all encompassing fantasies. They can dictate our behavior and our thought, enabling them to reinforce themselves and growing stronger still. They become God, a god which fulfills our inner needs and desires while consuming the outside. As the song goes, "A perfect world, a perfect life, a perfect way to throw away your mind." The defense is the Godslayer, methodically chopping away at the dreams which aspire to godhood, always asking "Why?".

I tried to make the music fit with the events in the song. The "dueling" guitar solos played fast and frantically to a very fast thrashy rhythm express the heat of the battle. The pounding march rhythm expresses the power of both combatants. The melodic parts expressing the calmness of the arguments which build into more heated and emphatic points. It took 12 minutes to tell the tale, but I am committed to saying what I have to say when I write a song.

Nathicana This was the song that pretty much started Fireaxe. I had written some nifty and interesting songs previously, but nothing really good. I was reading some Lovecraft and thought it would make a great subject for a song. However, I didn't want to take a full short story and try to tell it in a few short lyrical lines. I knew I couldn't write like H.P. Lovecraft and it wouldn't feel the same. One of the short story collections I had contained a 100 line poem named "Nathicana". I loved the poem and decided to put it to music.

I used both a flanger and a stereo reverb effects pedal to get that weird but beautiful sound out of my guitar. Getting a reasonably clean sound when the distortion was added was a challenge, but what an effect is has. As the poem shifts from the "Garden of Zais" part to the "Cursed Season of Dzannin", the distortion captures the difference in feel perfectly. The same notes are being played, but seem covered in "redness", fitting with the poem so well.

The hypnotic effect of the song is unmistakable. The first few notes, in stereo, with reverb, and echoing, begin to draw the listener into the beautiful garden described so well by Lovecraft. I find it entertaining to relax and try visualizing each scene as H.P. describes it. But before I fall into a state of total bliss, the scene is destroyed and replaced by the horrors of Dzannin. Lovecraft describes the pain and lamentation of being drawn away from his loved Nathicana. Then the feeling changes to one of grim determination. H.P. prepares a draught which will allow him to depart from the world of horror and return him to the beloved garden. It's happy and sad at the same time, crushingly so.

It's a story of love and loss and of striving to recover the lost love. It hits on many levels, and describes a side of Lovecraft which is somewhat rare in all his writings. I feel it is one of his best works.